What are you afraid of? In today's Gospel, Christ has taken care of every bodily need of his people. He has fed them and sent them off comfortably in the boat. And yet, when things get rocky, his followers start to doubt and fear. They are even afraid of Christ, not recognizing him when he draws near.
That happened to me tonight. After taking a few years off of church ministry leadership to serve my family, I thought maybe Christ was calling me back into service. I planned to attend a planning meeting at the church tonight and one thing after another kept me from getting out the door. You know the typical emergencies: Baby can't find his lovey, Tween 1 has his geography bee tomorrow and just decided he ought to study for it, Lovely Girl dawdles and dawdles getting ready for bed, and Tween 2 thinks he has pneumonia. Throw in one call to the sheriff's office after the baby sitter arrived and I was finally out the door.
Really, Jesus? You want me to do this? Really?
It's too hard. It's too rocky. But I went anyway, and guess what? Dark room. Locked door. No meeting. This is just the sort of thing that makes me want to eat lots of refined sugar. I'm afraid it's not going to work out. I'm afraid I can't do it. My heart was hardened.
Does that ever happen to you? You think you are doing what Christ is calling you to do but somehow it doesn't seem to work out. Like maybe it wasn't the best decision for you after all? Maybe a little something like MOTHERHOOD? If this vocation hasn't brought you to the point of cold sweats and dry heaves, you're doing it wrong!
"Take courage, it is I. Do not be afraid!" Can't you just imagine Jesus, the wind whipping through his hair, his tunic billowing behind him like a cape, arms akimbo standing astride the waves? My hero!
Daily promise: Go ahead, indulge yourself for a minute or two. Be the damsel in distress. Whine, cry, do your best Scarlet O. imitation. Then in those moments when you are afraid you just can't take another dirty diaper, toddler mess, failing grade, or disappointment, call on your heavenly Super Hero! Let his supernatural powers and grace flow over you and save the day.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son to save me. Help me to see His salvation in my daily moments of fear and frustration. Help me to feel his presence, his hand upon me, giving me courage to live the vocation he desires for me.